Twisting Colored Tiles

So this entire semester has been a struggle for me. Especially the past month in regards to homework, I have very little motivation and end up putting off what I should really be getting done for much less important activities. I have plenty of free time but somehow it always disappears because I check Facebook or email hundreds of times for no apparent reason, or I spend time snacking when I'm not hungry (food as comfort), or honestly I just sit in my room thinking of all I should be doing but am putting off. Recently I rediscovered the never-ending time-warp called Tetris. I find myself play a quick two-minute game every time I have a little bit of free-time. And many times I end up wasting more than half an hour. It's horrible and pointless, and the worst part is, I know it but play it anyway. I remember my junior year of high school I also was obsessed with tetris. I played it constantly and didn't realize it was a problem until I was watching a movie in theaters and started imagining how tetris pieces formed around people's heads and the environment around them. It hasn't been that bad yet this year, but at the rate I'm going, I'll be dreaming tetris sooner that I think. What is it that makes Tetris so captivating, why do I constantly want to reach higher levels? And why can't I be that absorbed with the things that really matter? 

I've wanted to learn guitar for probably five years now, and could probably make the time if it was a priority to me, but instead I play tetris. I also should be running/exercising more than I do but every time I think of it, I make the excuse that I don't have time. Even communication with friends (whether through letter, skype or talking on the phone) doesn't happen as often as it should because of this ridiculous tetris addiction. At Hope right now it's the season of Nykerk (a freshman/ sophomore competition that takes up 2 hours a night) which I wisely decided I shouldn't participate in because I had other more valuable things to which I needed to devote my time. It was a super tough decision because I truly did love Nykerk last year, but I knew my energies would be better spent elsewhere. What I didn't know was that elsewhere would soon turn into twisting colored tiles, indeed not a better use of my time.

Even worse than not prioritizing my homework or relationship with people is not prioritizing time with God. For the past year and some, I've been on a spiritual plateau of sorts, I say I want to get closer to God again, to really get to know Him more, but I choose not to put in the effort. I've hit a spiritual wall and can't seem to motivate myself to get over it. I'd rather do what's easy and what requires little work, ergo facebook, email, food or tetris. This is incredibly problematic considering the things I'm involved in at the moment and my future carer interests. Right now I'm a leader for Wyld Life (the middle school version of Young Life) and a youth/children's leader in my church. If I'm not growing in my faith, how can I expect others to grow in theirs? And how can I be a part of that growth if I'm not living my life as a testimony? I'm at a loss for direction. I've become 'busy' and replaced all that is truly important for momentary satisfaction. 

What would my life look like if I was constantly trying to reach higher levels in the things that truly mattered? In my friendships? In my guitar playing ability? In my health/fitness? In my relationship with God? Am I willing give up those twisting tiles for something better?

Yes. I've finally had enough.