Before school ended and everyone left for their various destinations, Sam Tzou did a presentation on Zambia. As I was looking through my journals I cam across my response to his presentation on it. Here are my thoughts:
You’ve lead Sam to Zambia this summer because of Your love and next summer, under Your direction, he’s going back with a team. The work he’s doing has to do with water sanitation, and community development through soccer, and provision for those with AIDs. There’s also opportunity in regards to child care. On the first slide of his presentation he wrote: sponsor-- Jesus Christ. The trip is all about You. He’s said multiple times (with sincerity) that he would drop the trip if he discerned that You were no longer behind it. He’s not going on the trip because he has a passion for Africa or for Zambia, not even because he has a passion for missions. He’s going on the trip because of Your love. That is where you are leading him, so that’s where he’s going.
As Sam has shared with me his vision, he used the analogy of a business meeting to demonstrate how much of the trip is truly dictated by You. He said that in the business You are the president, the vice president, the board of trustees, the people that take up the first, second, third, forth and fifth rows. You are the brains and the manpower of the operation. Sam’s position is the pee-on in the back corner who takes really crappy notes. He asked then for us to pray if God is calling us to sit next to him and share the note taking.
I learn best through stories (and analogies) so that metaphor really reached my heart. He meant it for Zambia, which is an opportunity that I should also pray about, but I was convicted to view my entire life in this way. God, You are the brains and the man-power; You are the president and the VP. You take up the first, second, third, forth and fifth rows, and I am just the pee-on taking crappy notes in the back. All my life is Yours, and all my steps are directed by You. It says in Psalms 139 that you know when I sit and when I rise; all my ways are familiar to You.
So God I pray right now, that you would lead me... in everything. Not just in my future plans which is what I focus on so often, or in my school studies when I freak out because I don’t know what my grades are going to be, not just in my relationships with my friends and with my family members. Not just in Young Life, TTQ or Exodus, but in EVERYTHING. Be the first thing on my mind as I wake up, and the last thing as I fall asleep. Be in all my interactions and in my studies. God, I know I need you, but I haven’t realized how desperate or deep that need really is. I’m still trying to be the president, VP and all the other important people in my life’s business. God, dethrone me; make me realize how much I truly need you.
